This year Tommy Boy turned 20 years old. So, I promptly went out and bought a subscription to AARP Magazine. And then exclaimed “holy shnikes!” as any sensible Chris Farley fan would do.
But for real, it’s really been 20 years? Seems like only yesterday we were reenacting all our favorite lines from the very best Farley/Spade vehicle – and truthfully, who doesn’t still bust out “fat guy in a little coat” every now and then? As a kid I adored Chris Farley, and as an adult, I’m grateful to him for leaving me (and the rest of the world, sniffle) with some of life’s most important lessons. Do you… do you remember the time that he taught us that…
1. M&Ms are covered in a thin candy shell:
Please note: your brain may be covered in a thick candy shell.
2. Always accept defeat with dignity and grace:
3. It’s a good idea to rehearse your words beforehand:
4. You shouldn’t let yourself be disrespected by anybody:
Even a dude with nipple jewelry.
5. Never, EVER, let the white man bring you down!
6. You should always take pride in your work, no matter what your vocation is:
7. Destruction of private property is ok if you’re trying to prove a strong point:
8. It’s important not to come on too strong when looking for love:
Relatedly, peeling an orange is maybe not the smoothest of pickup moves.
9. The only cooking ingredient you ever need in life is a metric gallon of chocolate:
Chocolate is, of course, basically useless without ketchup. Also, aw, I hope he got to mentor Kenan a bit.
10. Be proud of who you are (even if you don’t quite know what it means):
11. Sometimes you gotta have your own back:
Especially when you’re having yet another heart attack.
12. Never let them skinny bitches come between you and your pleasures:
13. You deserve to be accepted by the A group:
(PS: you can stop watching this video after the acceptance speech starts, if you just want to keep getting your Farley on).
14. If you can’t beat ‘em, burn ‘em:
15. Embrace your inner child as much as you can:
16. Don’t be afraid to ask stupid questions:
Because you might just get to meet your idols that way!
17. You never know how quickly your luck will turn around:
18. Fake it til you make it:
Or never make it with Veronica Vaughn, as the case may be.
19. Getting closer with your family isn’t at all a bad thing:
20. Believe in yourself, and you can soar to new heights:
21. And finally, but most importantly: don’t take your light away from the world when you’ve only just begun to shine.
We miss you, big guy.
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